he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
