I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
