im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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