why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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