census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
