i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
