): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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