Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
