what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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