It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Two words: nipple clamps
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