She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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