watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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