I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Text me some of your sweat
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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