after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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