I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
