I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men