This is not my ceiling
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.