I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
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Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I have poison ivy on my dick
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that