all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball