WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm getting married
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.