You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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