You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
