Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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