she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize