oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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