I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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