I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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