just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
