i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
