I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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