doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So vagazzling was a success
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