Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
