I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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