did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have feelings that need drinking.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
