We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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