i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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