Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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