remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
there's paper in my vomit.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
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I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
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The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i've created a new STD.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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