wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
