Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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