whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
