actually, I'm a sock model
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
