Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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