By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
