Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My vagina is officially offended.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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