i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
