Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
