definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
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Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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