The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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