i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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