I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
