I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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