Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
