So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
