did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize