you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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