can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
