why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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