why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
