so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
